Word Crimes By Weird Al

Word CrimesWe’ve all committed them, word crimes. The odd thing is, texting and the internet has increased how prevalent they are. Leave it to the master of the comedic reinterpretation of popular songs to come up with a brilliant new version of Blurred Lines. Sorry Robin Thicke, you have been bested by the man, the myth, the legend – Weird Al. Not since he’s done something like Eat It to Michael Jackson’s Beat It has there been something so funny.

Word Crimes is amazing in it’s ability to be funny. It’s like a cool version of a School House Rock song. Actually School House Rock stuff from it’s early days is brilliant, but it’s the video that goes with Word Crimes that really makes it awesome. The graphics are stunning. Plus the word play that goes on with the images is one of the most creative things I’ve seen in a long time.

Word Crimes

Everybody shut up, WOO!
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey

If you can’t write in the proper way
If you don’t know how to conjugate
Maybe you flunked that class
And maybe now you find
That people mock you online

Okay, now here’s the deal
I’ll try to educate ya
Gonna familiarize
You with the nomenclature
You’ll learn the definitions
Of nouns and prepositions
Literacy’s your mission
And that’s why I think it’s a

Good time
To learn some grammar
Now, did I stammer
Work on that grammar
You should know when
It’s “less” or it’s “fewer”
Like people who were
Never raised in a sewer

I hate these word crimes
Like I could care less
That means you do care
At least a little
Don’t be a moron
You better slow down
And use the right pronoun
Show the world you’re a no-clown

(Everybody wise up)

Say you got an “I-T”
Followed by apostrophe “s”
Now what does that mean?
You would not use this in this case
As a possessive
It’s a contraction
What’s a contraction?
Well, it’s the shortening of a word, or a group of words
By the emission of a sound or letter

Okay, now here are some notes
Syntax you’re always dangling
No X in “Espresso”
Your participle’s danglin’
But I don’t want your drama
If you really wanna
Leave out that Oxford comma
Just keep in mind
That we see

Are you
Are words not letters?
Get it together
Use your spellchecker
You should never
Write words using numbers
Unless you’re seven
Or your name is Prince

I hate these word crimes
You really need a
Full time proofreader
You dumb mouthbreather
Well, you should hire
Some cunning linguist
To help you distinguish
What is proper English

(Everybody wise up)

One thing I ask of you
Time to learn your homophones is past due
Learn to diagram a sentence too
Always say to whom
Don’t ever say to who
Yeah, listen up when I tell you this
I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
If you finished second grade
I hope you can tell
If you’re doing good or doing well
Figure out the difference
Irony is not coincidence
And, I thought that you’d gotten it through your skull
What’s figurative and what’s literal
Oh but, just now, you said
You literally couldn’t get out of bed
That really makes me want to literally
Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head

I read your e-mail
It’s quite apparent
You’re grammar’s errant
You’re incoherent
Saw your blog post
It’s really fantastic
That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)
Cause you write like a spastic

I hate these Word Crimes
(Everybody wise up)
Your pose is dopey
Think you should only
Write in emoji
Oh, you’re a lost cause
Go back to preschool
Get out of the gene pool
Try your best to not drool

Never mind I give up
Really now I give up
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Go Away!

Woo hoo! Now go out and stop committing these common word crimes!

She Looks So Perfect Cover Version

She Looks So PerfectNot long ago I made a post about She Looks So Perfect and the band 5 Seconds Of Summer. Well, now I done went and made an acoustic cover of the song. I guess I just ended up liking it way too much to leave it alone. Thus I set up my video camera, my lappy with Logic, the awesome Telefunken C12 and plugged my guitar into the mic pre – hit record and away I went!

What you’re getting is unadulterated recording of me singing a fun pop rock tune out of Australia.

Plus I decided to have some fun with a video filter. I figured it kinda fit the vibe or at least created a new vibe that says hey, I can change up the look of the image for fun. Of course, I probably should have thought about it a little longer, but who cares?

She Looks So Perfect

http://youtu.be/VM3CATyLH4g

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey

Simmer down, simmer down
They say we’re too young now to amount to anything else
But look around
We worked too damn hard for this just to give it up now
If you don’t swim, you’ll drown
But don’t move, honey

You look so perfect standing there
In my American Apparel underwear
And I know now, that I’m so down
Your lipstick stain is a work of art
I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart
And I know now, that I’m so down

Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey

Let’s get out, let’s get out
‘Cause this deadbeat town’s only here just to keep us down
While I was out, I found myself alone just thinking
If I showed up with a plane ticket
And a shiny diamond ring with your name on it
Would you wanna run away too?
‘Cause all I really want is you

You look so perfect standing there
In my American Apparel underwear
And I know now, that I’m so down
I made a mix-tape straight out of ’94
I’ve got your ripped skinny jeans lying on the floor
And I know now, that I’m so down

Hey! Hey, hey, hey hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey

Chorus 1

Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey

You look so perfect standing there
In my American Apparel underwear
And I know now, that I’m so down (hey!)
Your lipstick stain is a work of art
I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart
And I know now, that I’m so down

Enjoy and pass it around!

Big Name Players In The Studio

name playersWe all like to talk shop in the studio, especially if it involves name players. Talking about amazing musicians we’ve had the pleasure or displeasure of working with, playing with, or meeting. Come on inside Utopia Parkway as George Leger III, Jesse Stern and I talk about some people we’ve met. Ok, mostly George talking about some amazing players. But still step inside, walk this way, you and me…

It starts with talking about Barry Manilow’s guitarist knowing about guitar playing from over 100 years ago and then progresses into the more modern instrument of electric bass. It then quickly swings into a little chat about a very famous female bassist (big name players type) that both George and I have met, but Jesse had not.

Big Name Players In The Studio

http://youtu.be/QxCiDwpoc-I

Transcript:

Because the song was done in the 1800’s.

He wanted to play it, like they played guitar in the 1800’s. He knew enough about the history of music and guitar playing, to know what kind of chords they would have played. How they would have played the part. I was like. I talked to him after. I asked him, you know that stuff?

Yeah, I have to know that stuff.

How do you know.

Research.

I mean, do you?!?

Some. Yeah, I studied, I studied guitar for many years.

But I mean like…

And and classical and and history for different parts of the world.

That’s where I started too. So I could technically say the same thing, but I don’t go around spitting that kind of information out.

Well and I also…

He, but he, I mean this guy, I mean I couldn’t believe what he’s played. How complex it was and there’s no little fret “icks” or nothing. I mean the guy is just like a fucking machine, what he was playing was unbelievable.

The history of bass, of electric bass is a lot shorter.

Yeah.

Than history of guitars. So.

But boy is it ever cool.

The first guy that I studied, like that I really studied not just learning the notes, but learning how the notes were played and how the tone came and all that stuff was Roger Waters.

Oh, well there you go.

And so, and then, you know from there I kinda learned, I kinda went back.

Do you know who I met and talked to for about a half hour?

Ah.

Carol Kaye.

Oh really?

Yeah, at NAMM two or three years ago. She was sitting there all by herself.

Was she nice.

But was she nice?!?

She was awesome.

You know why we both ask that question?

Why?

Because she’s not known to be nice. She’s known to be very very mean.

Really?!?

She has a reputation for being very very bitter and having a chip on her shoulder.

Yeah.

Not with me. She was so cool.

I’m glad to hear that.

We talked about making records an’ shit and everything.

She’s a, I mean, obviously a phenomenal.

And I have pictures of her and me, from the NAMM show. She was so… Really?!? She’s like that?

Yeah.

Oh yeah yeah.

That’s what people say. I’ve never met her.

I’ve met her.

She wasn’t like that with me man. She was just like, be just like I’m talking to you. So tell me ya know, I know you played with so and so, can you tell me what was it like when you guys first started playing. I mean you’re a girl, you were playing. You know and she was like, yeah, you know I was there sometimes, just taking care of my family is really what I was doing. You know and I was really grateful to be doing that stuff. But yeah she was just like yeah I’d show up in a dresses and sessions and stuff like that and people would look at me and then I’d play my instrument and then they would look at me totally different.

Well, it could…

She was just such a sweetheart.

Well, it could very well be that maybe she’s mellowing a little bit now. Because when I met her…

It could also be me. Cause I’m pretty respectful of people like that. And I’m also really, respectful of their experience.

Come What May In The Future

come what mayI feel like I’m sitting on pins and needles wondering about Touch and if things will come what may for it. Which leads me into a new song coming out from Ian Thornley and his group Big Wreck. In the course of his music, it’s more progressive sounding than his progressive past.

What do I mean by that?

Some of my favorite songs by Ian are song that are very different in their rhythmic structure. My favorite where he mixes odd time with a tune has to be Ladylike. There’s such a cool combination going there. However, this new song of his Come What May is pushing that balance into an uptempo number that feels like it could be some sort of pop style rock song. Unfortunately it contains chords and movements that will cause most people to scratch their heads. Unlike most of his melodies, this one isn’t instantly catchy, but damn it sure has a cool movement to it.

Come What May

Break off a little piece of happiness
No body gets hurt more or less
Whatever it takes to get you through
The night is gonna have to do

Under the weight of daily bread
You’d rather wake to cake instead
Would you believe a photograph
Was all it took and all that’s left
Of missing pieces

I throw myself in the river
I need to wash my head and float away
‘Cause I know that I’ll be delivered
Everything cast adrift
Come what may

I’m fed up with the pace of saving face
I’m squeezing what I can’t replace
Fiddled with the fire ’til I got burned
With all I’ve lost you’d think I’d learned
By missing pieces

I throw myself in the river
I need to wash my head and float away
‘Cause I know that I’ll be delivered
Everything cast adrift
Come what may

I throw myself in the river
I need to wash my head and float away
‘Cause I know that I’ll be delivered
Everything cast adrift
Come what may

I throw myself in the river
I need to wash my head and float away
‘Cause I know that I’ll be delivered
Everything cast adrift
Come what may

Enjoy your day!

Chandelier By Sia

chandelierWho knew that my horizons would get expanded by a Chandelier?

Happiness is knowing that you can learn, grow and expand. Such is where I’m heading in my own career. Even as little as a few years ago I would have never been into hyper lush production of a song. At least not beyond getting a good sound and making a good blend with a standard type of band setup and maybe adding a few additional sounds. Now I’m checking out songs that are humongous arrangements with track counts that number well over 48. Ones that have awesome sounds in them built in layers and layers. Such is the case with Chandelier sung by Sia. The production on this tune was achieved by Jesse Shatkin and Greg Kurstin.

What I really enjoy with this song is phrase “1, 2, 3, Drink.” There’s a really clever use of prosody in music with that part. It’s something that a musician would appreciate, but the consumer would just think “oh that’s cool.” What happens where she’s singing 1, 2, 3 is that the vocal is parsing in triplet quarter notes over the beat. Three counts getting a division of three across beats – as I said: clever. The melody soars when it hits the word Chandelier, which also has a sense of prosody thanks to the fact that Chandeliers tend to hang from a ceiling up above.

Sonically, there’s a ton of ear candy and while a pop song doesn’t have to be chock full of ear candy to be good, said ear candy can take a good song with a memorable melody and push into great. I could listen to this on repeat and be happy.

Chandelier by Sia

Party girls don’t get hurt
Can’t feel anything, when will I learn
I push it down, push it down

I’m the one “for a good time call”
Phone’s blowin’ up, they’re ringin’ my doorbell
I feel the love, feel the love

1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink

Throw em back, till I lose count

I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist
Like it doesn’t exist
I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

And I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
Help me, I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
On for tonight

Sun is up, I’m a mess
Gotta get out now, gotta run from this
Here comes the shame, here comes the shame

1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink

Throw em back till I lose count

I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist
Like it doesn’t exist
I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

And I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
Help me, I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
On for tonight

Enjoy your day and the song!

Noisy Mouse In The Headphones

noisy mouseNothing is more annoying than a noisy mouse in the headphones. Recently in the studio while getting ready to start knocking out vocals for American Mayhem and we had an issue with a hum type of noise going on in the headphones. This makes for unpleasant recording. Not to mention that it also can be an issue if it’s being recorded on to the track in question. Adding noise from an unknown source isn’t always a great idea.

Find out what was causing the noise to occur. A kind of noise that flares up when the mouse is being moved. Nothing like a bad noisy mouse, however, that was a result of the issue, not a root for the cure. We did find it!

Noisy Mouse In The Headphones

Transcript:

What are we up for George? What are we looking at?

I just hear some weird hum.

Very briefly.

Yeah, it came and then it kinda went.

I can kinda hear your mouse moving.

Yeah well…

Mouse noise is what I’m saying. Not like the actual physical noise. I’m hearing in the system.

Somethings tweaked in the system.

That seems a bit quieter.

Yeah, well the transformer was on the audio cable.

Sittin right on the cable? Yeah, that’s bad. Studio badness. Do not put your audio cables right on a transformer.

Oh yeah. Much better.

Much better.

Ok. We’ll be recording now. Shhhh.

Red light ‘s going on.

No squeaky chairs. No nothing.

Backseat Producing And Manolo Blahnik

jody in studioI’m usually a hermit in the studio, but I’ve opened up a little and had a little episode of backseat producing that led to a discussion that involved Manolo Blahnik shoes. In the past, I rarely let people in the studio while I’d be singing. Hence the reason why I’d produce them myself. I’m changing things around. Especially since I’ve been having George Leger III producing vocals for me.

Another first happened during the vocal recording session of American Mayhem. I allowed my buddy Greg Nicholson and his girlfriend to sit in while I was recording vocals with George at Utopia Parkway studio. Greg and I have written songs in the past. But he’s never sat in on recording with me as the artist. George has one rule – which quickly gets reminded to Greg as he offers up some advice.

While waiting for George we get into a discussion about the Apollo by Universal Audio and shoes by Manolo Blahnik. All of this prior to Greg and his girlfriend are about to go watch the World Cup football (soccer) between USA and Portugal. See, he’s for USA and she’s for Portugal. I’m sure that was an interesting match for the two of them. As we all now know, that was a moving match.

Backseat Producing And Manolo Blahnik

Transcription:

Are you’re P’s coming out okay?
Pah. I don’t know.

‘Cause you had a lot of P’s. So I was just wondering how.

Oh yeah, they’re not popping in the mic.

Ok. Cause sometimes I have to like turn my head just a little bit when I’m singing a P even with a pop filter.

Shhhhh.

Sorry.

Shhhhh.

Ha ha ha.

You’re a guest. Not a producer.

No side, no backseat driving.

Exactly. Please. We have work to do. Okay, here we go again. Ready?

Yes.

Mumbo jumbo. It makes people go really?

Really?

Really?

In other words…

Why do you need this?

It’s like so when you start updating your studio and she’s living with you at some point in the future. I’m projecting here. And Greg’s like “I need to buy this.” and you’ll be like “Really? Really?”

Remember, that’s what George and Jody said.

This stuff does make a difference.

Do I get a pair of Manolo Blahnik’s?

Of what?

Manolo Blahnik’s.

I don’t know what that is.

Really nice shoes.

Oh. Okay.

I don’t even know what the hell that is. But like, Okay.

A pair of nice shoes is that what that is?

Yeah. They cost quite a bit.

Alright. So, you get the toys in the audio gear. She gets the toys in the shoes.

That’s only fair.

Right.

I believe in this. I believe in being fair.

But here’s a question. How much are those shoes?

Between $300 and $500.

Oh yeah.

Whew.

Alright.

That’s totally fair.

Per pair. How much is what you want to get?

The Apollo? How much is that Apollo? About $2500?

That one? $2799 plus tax. No. $2500 plus tax.

I was thinking between somewhere between $2500 and $3000. Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.

I was like, we already shook, we already negotiated this deal.

I did not know how much that cost!

I don’t know how much your shoes are, but I’m thinking my thing is 10x of what we just negotiated.

Dammit!

ha ha ha ha.

Fair trade. Fair trade.

Well, now I have to get the most expensive pair of Manolo Blahnik’s now.

No I think it’s only fair that you would get at least a dress.

Ha ha ha.

To go with the shoes.

Okay.

Yes.

Alright.

That’s only fair.