Author: Jody Whitesides

  • Word Crimes By Weird Al

    Word Crimes By Weird Al

    Word CrimesWe’ve all committed them, word crimes. The odd thing is, texting and the internet has increased how prevalent they are. Leave it to the master of the comedic reinterpretation of popular songs to come up with a brilliant new version of Blurred Lines. Sorry Robin Thicke, you have been bested by the man, the myth, the legend – Weird Al. Not since he’s done something like Eat It to Michael Jackson’s Beat It has there been something so funny.

    Word Crimes is amazing in it’s ability to be funny. It’s like a cool version of a School House Rock song. Actually School House Rock stuff from it’s early days is brilliant, but it’s the video that goes with Word Crimes that really makes it awesome. The graphics are stunning. Plus the word play that goes on with the images is one of the most creative things I’ve seen in a long time.

    Word Crimes

    YouTube player

    Everybody shut up, WOO!
    Hey, hey, hey
    Hey, hey, hey
    Hey, hey, hey

    If you can’t write in the proper way
    If you don’t know how to conjugate
    Maybe you flunked that class
    And maybe now you find
    That people mock you online

    Okay, now here’s the deal
    I’ll try to educate ya
    Gonna familiarize
    You with the nomenclature
    You’ll learn the definitions
    Of nouns and prepositions
    Literacy’s your mission
    And that’s why I think it’s a

    Good time
    To learn some grammar
    Now, did I stammer
    Work on that grammar
    You should know when
    It’s “less” or it’s “fewer”
    Like people who were
    Never raised in a sewer

    I hate these word crimes
    Like I could care less
    That means you do care
    At least a little
    Don’t be a moron
    You better slow down
    And use the right pronoun
    Show the world you’re a no-clown

    (Everybody wise up)

    Say you got an “I-T”
    Followed by apostrophe “s”
    Now what does that mean?
    You would not use this in this case
    As a possessive
    It’s a contraction
    What’s a contraction?
    Well, it’s the shortening of a word, or a group of words
    By the emission of a sound or letter

    Okay, now here are some notes
    Syntax you’re always dangling
    No X in “Espresso”
    Your participle’s danglin’
    But I don’t want your drama
    If you really wanna
    Leave out that Oxford comma
    Just keep in mind
    That we see

    Are you
    Are words not letters?
    Get it together
    Use your spellchecker
    You should never
    Write words using numbers
    Unless you’re seven
    Or your name is Prince

    I hate these word crimes
    You really need a
    Full time proofreader
    You dumb mouthbreather
    Well, you should hire
    Some cunning linguist
    To help you distinguish
    What is proper English

    (Everybody wise up)

    One thing I ask of you
    Time to learn your homophones is past due
    Learn to diagram a sentence too
    Always say to whom
    Don’t ever say to who
    Yeah, listen up when I tell you this
    I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
    If you finished second grade
    I hope you can tell
    If you’re doing good or doing well
    Figure out the difference
    Irony is not coincidence
    And, I thought that you’d gotten it through your skull
    What’s figurative and what’s literal
    Oh but, just now, you said
    You literally couldn’t get out of bed
    That really makes me want to literally
    Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head

    I read your e-mail
    It’s quite apparent
    You’re grammar’s errant
    You’re incoherent
    Saw your blog post
    It’s really fantastic
    That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)
    Cause you write like a spastic

    I hate these Word Crimes
    (Everybody wise up)
    Your pose is dopey
    Think you should only
    Write in emoji
    Oh, you’re a lost cause
    Go back to preschool
    Get out of the gene pool
    Try your best to not drool

    Never mind I give up
    Really now I give up
    Hey, hey, hey
    Hey, hey, hey
    Go Away!

    Woo hoo! Now go out and stop committing these common word crimes!

  • She Looks So Perfect Cover Version

    She Looks So Perfect Cover Version

    She Looks So PerfectNot long ago I made a post about She Looks So Perfect and the band 5 Seconds Of Summer. Well, now I done went and made an acoustic cover of the song. I guess I just ended up liking it way too much to leave it alone. Thus I set up my video camera, my lappy with Logic, the awesome Telefunken C12 and plugged my guitar into the mic pre – hit record and away I went!

    What you’re getting is unadulterated recording of me singing a fun pop rock tune out of Australia.

    Plus I decided to have some fun with a video filter. I figured it kinda fit the vibe or at least created a new vibe that says hey, I can change up the look of the image for fun. Of course, I probably should have thought about it a little longer, but who cares?

    She Looks So Perfect

    http://youtu.be/VM3CATyLH4g

    Hey, hey, hey, hey
    Hey, hey, hey

    Simmer down, simmer down
    They say we’re too young now to amount to anything else
    But look around
    We worked too damn hard for this just to give it up now
    If you don’t swim, you’ll drown
    But don’t move, honey

    You look so perfect standing there
    In my American Apparel underwear
    And I know now, that I’m so down
    Your lipstick stain is a work of art
    I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart
    And I know now, that I’m so down

    Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey
    Hey, hey, hey

    Let’s get out, let’s get out
    ‘Cause this deadbeat town’s only here just to keep us down
    While I was out, I found myself alone just thinking
    If I showed up with a plane ticket
    And a shiny diamond ring with your name on it
    Would you wanna run away too?
    ‘Cause all I really want is you

    You look so perfect standing there
    In my American Apparel underwear
    And I know now, that I’m so down
    I made a mix-tape straight out of ’94
    I’ve got your ripped skinny jeans lying on the floor
    And I know now, that I’m so down

    Hey! Hey, hey, hey hey
    Hey, hey, hey, hey

    Chorus 1

    Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey
    Hey, hey, hey, hey
    Hey, hey, hey

    You look so perfect standing there
    In my American Apparel underwear
    And I know now, that I’m so down (hey!)
    Your lipstick stain is a work of art
    I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart
    And I know now, that I’m so down

    Enjoy and pass it around!

  • Big Name Players In The Studio

    Big Name Players In The Studio

    name playersWe all like to talk shop in the studio, especially if it involves name players. Talking about amazing musicians we’ve had the pleasure or displeasure of working with, playing with, or meeting. Come on inside Utopia Parkway as George Leger III, Jesse Stern and I talk about some people we’ve met. Ok, mostly George talking about some amazing players. But still step inside, walk this way, you and me…

    It starts with talking about Barry Manilow’s guitarist knowing about guitar playing from over 100 years ago and then progresses into the more modern instrument of electric bass. It then quickly swings into a little chat about a very famous female bassist (big name players type) that both George and I have met, but Jesse had not.

    Big Name Players In The Studio

    http://youtu.be/QxCiDwpoc-I

    Transcript:

    Because the song was done in the 1800’s.

    He wanted to play it, like they played guitar in the 1800’s. He knew enough about the history of music and guitar playing, to know what kind of chords they would have played. How they would have played the part. I was like. I talked to him after. I asked him, you know that stuff?

    Yeah, I have to know that stuff.

    How do you know.

    Research.

    I mean, do you?!?

    Some. Yeah, I studied, I studied guitar for many years.

    But I mean like…

    And and classical and and history for different parts of the world.

    That’s where I started too. So I could technically say the same thing, but I don’t go around spitting that kind of information out.

    Well and I also…

    He, but he, I mean this guy, I mean I couldn’t believe what he’s played. How complex it was and there’s no little fret “icks” or nothing. I mean the guy is just like a fucking machine, what he was playing was unbelievable.

    The history of bass, of electric bass is a lot shorter.

    Yeah.

    Than history of guitars. So.

    But boy is it ever cool.

    The first guy that I studied, like that I really studied not just learning the notes, but learning how the notes were played and how the tone came and all that stuff was Roger Waters.

    Oh, well there you go.

    And so, and then, you know from there I kinda learned, I kinda went back.

    Do you know who I met and talked to for about a half hour?

    Ah.

    Carol Kaye.

    Oh really?

    Yeah, at NAMM two or three years ago. She was sitting there all by herself.

    Was she nice.

    But was she nice?!?

    She was awesome.

    You know why we both ask that question?

    Why?

    Because she’s not known to be nice. She’s known to be very very mean.

    Really?!?

    She has a reputation for being very very bitter and having a chip on her shoulder.

    Yeah.

    Not with me. She was so cool.

    I’m glad to hear that.

    We talked about making records an’ shit and everything.

    She’s a, I mean, obviously a phenomenal.

    And I have pictures of her and me, from the NAMM show. She was so… Really?!? She’s like that?

    Yeah.

    Oh yeah yeah.

    That’s what people say. I’ve never met her.

    I’ve met her.

    She wasn’t like that with me man. She was just like, be just like I’m talking to you. So tell me ya know, I know you played with so and so, can you tell me what was it like when you guys first started playing. I mean you’re a girl, you were playing. You know and she was like, yeah, you know I was there sometimes, just taking care of my family is really what I was doing. You know and I was really grateful to be doing that stuff. But yeah she was just like yeah I’d show up in a dresses and sessions and stuff like that and people would look at me and then I’d play my instrument and then they would look at me totally different.

    Well, it could…

    She was just such a sweetheart.

    Well, it could very well be that maybe she’s mellowing a little bit now. Because when I met her…

    It could also be me. Cause I’m pretty respectful of people like that. And I’m also really, respectful of their experience.